Ads
About Myself
Sim Kuan Li Jenevieve My Tagboard
A Friend Of... Aizat Anne Celine Coeus Danielle Dyan Eunice Finency PeiFang Jenny Joyce JungMin KaiSing Kayden Kexin KiHwan KimBerly LiMin Melody Michelle Regina Serena Sheralyn Susanta SungBin Teri Winnie XuePin XueYing YiTing Zafirah Archives
Credits Given
Powered By: Blogger
|
Tuesday, April 08, 2008 geez. after having this skin for a couple of days, i kinda miss the skin i had before. The one that screams nothing more than just simplicity itself. aww. *warning: long post after so long! read it only when you're free and ready to waste your life away. anyways, i was reading one of my past post regarding the complains of an average typical teenager. it was about how parents are inquisitive about their kids' whereabouts, and life. about how parents try to instill their dreams, ideals and expectations into their kids. and about how some things when forcibly pressured on their children, it is harmful to the relationship between parent and child, not only does it cause the child to be more distant, they tend to keep to themselves knowing that when they do speak about their ideas, perspective and basically, how they feel towards certain issues that are happening around them, will be rejected; if not, a taboo when spoken of. even after 3 years since that post was made, i still stand still with that comment i've made back then. Parents are concerned about their kids' whereabout is because they care and want to know if they are in safe hands. however, to be questioning to know and to be inquisitive is very much different. i believe most adolescents nowadays do not like the fact that their parents are asking too much into their lives and about who they hang out with. i mean, i feel strongly about it when my parents do ask about who i'm going out with, and where i'm going. yes, it is concern. yes, it is definitely and totally right of them to be asking. but then again, because i've been staying in Canada fdor 2 years already, i find it pretty weird when i'm being questioned about my whereabouts. especially when i'm leaving my house, and for 2 years, no one have been there to question about my whereabouts. i basically go out and come home as and when i want to, without anyone there to answer to. it totally mystifies me sometimes about how my parents question about where i'm going and who i'm going out with. why does it mystify me? because ever since they sent me to Canada, i've been alone and taking care of myself. considering the fact that Canada is a total different culture and a place that somehow offer less security than there is in Singapore. to be real honest, i get somehow irritated when my parents question me. parents sometimes think and keep thinking that we children, are not thinking for them at all. we're not putting ourselves in their shoes. but i really would like to beg to differ. most kids, who are about 18 and above, would understand their parents' concerns. (especially if they are very bonded with the family) however, sometimes parents should get out of their own shoes and think about how we feel about certain issues. i would be really happy to know that my parents are trying to establish a common language with me. for example, instead of making a discussion, "THE talk", why not try another approach? like making the supposed TALK to become just a casual conversation which allows each own perspective to flow and be discussed? if it is approaching sensitive issues which you parents might dislike or feel strongly against, why not try to hear your kid out? let them talk instead of you talking. afterall, it is their life they're leading, and will be leading. parents always say they want to guide their children to the right path. but wat really is the right path? and wat really is right for us? we may be young, and yes children will always be children in the eyes of their parents. but still, decisions are wat we should learn to make. make decisions now, if it's wrong, pull out and learn to make a better decision as we grow. 有时让我们碰碰钉子,也是件好事！ i truly feel strongly against parents who tries to forcibly pressure their children out of something, even though their children might feel strongly about the whole thing they are involved in. how do parents forcibly pressure children? here are some ways... (1) threaten to ground or take away something from them (e.g allowances, holidays, phone, laptop, etc..) (2) giving them THE RESTRICTION (e.g. "YOU SHOULDN'T DO THAT! IT'S WRONG!") (3) Contempt and disregard (e.g "YOU THINK YOU'RE SO SMART TO BE MAKING THAT DECISION/CHOICE YOU MADE? YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO KNOW WAT YOU'RE DOING!") by making us feel stupid wont do any good to you either. our ability to make decisions for our own should be lauded, not disregarded. give us some respect that we're learning, and if you think our choice made was stupid, keep it to yourself and discuss the situation with us. we'd listen. one thing adolescents feel strongly about is the amount of respect they earn from people around them, especially parents. why else would they do so much to earn the respect of their peers? by listening to what they have to say, may serve as a good purpose for the parent-child relationship. it allows them to feel more comfortable with opening up to you. Most parents from what I've learned and known, would like to know about what and how their children are doing and thinking. by rejecting their ideas, their comments and their troubles, it's as good as disregarding them. you adults have your own problems, and we have our own problems. when we don't disregard your problem, don't disregard ours. also, i believe that parents should realise that YOUTH is POWERFUL. this is the time we can truly have fun without considering so much. (as we grow, things get complicated, and there's more things to be considered) by tying us down at home, telling us to study, study and STUDY, ain't gonna do us any good. our current society is looking for people who balances their IQ and EQ. think about that. children, on the other hand, should try to understand more about their parents' concerns. they don't ground you or do things for no reason. they ground you and do things for you, because they care about you. if you want to be respected by your parents, don't do stupid things that will get you into trouble. how can you earn respect from your parents? (1) be realistic and not TOTALLY idealistic. know your goals and your aims. (2) grades. it's a really good way for parents to know that you can manage your leisure time and academic well. (it shows tinge of maturity) (3) don't be talking bullshit, or as if you're a Mr/Ms know-it-all. you dont know as much about life as your parents does, so sometimes, just stfu and listen to what they have to say. talking bullshit and i do mean bullshit. sometimes even if it might sound utterly intelligent to you, it's total rubbish and a waste of breath of others. you give them to respect, you do and handle your own things well, you gain the respect. (4) don't be screaming and shouting like a kid when they don't agree with you. or you just don't get what you want. think about how you feel when you see a kid screaming and shouting at the grocery/departmental store. you look just like them. (2) WORKS BEST! for me, i must say i'm really fortunate that my parents don't demand much with my grades and allows me to handle my academic life myself. well, i've got so much to say. as an adolescent, as a student, as a daughter, i know how i want to be treated. i wanna be treated with respect. i wanna be treated like a 19 year old instead of a 16. GONE are the days when i scream and shout like a mad kid, because i can't get my way. GONE are the days when i was irresponsible with whatever i was doing. all these might sound shallow/naive, but then again, it's my perspective of how parents should be, and how children should be. at least give it a thought about what i've said, cause this whole entry here is triggered off by the fact that i attended a Teenage Talk for Parents. if you're a parent, think about how you were feeling about issues, when you were at our age. but don't use YOUR era to compare with kids of our CURRENT era. Environment plays a HUGE role to the behaviour and mindset of people. To all Children in the world: It's tough being a parent. It's even tougher to be a GOOD parent. you'd know when your time comes! To all Parents in the world: As much as it's hard on your guys, it's hard for us teenagers too. BANG! and suddenly, we're in the Real world. |
