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Thursday, November 10, 2005 heh.. gave my blog a rest from my whinings, complains, and my happiness.. however, i realised that she had enough rest already.. so i should go ON!! yay!!alrits.. was having O levels and O levels and O levels.. thus, i didnt really have the mood to blog.. now that i have a lil' time, i shall do jus that!! yesterday, i got to know this girl, Clara.. heard that she's 175cm tall!! almost the height of Celine!! GOSH!! yea.. spoke to her on the phone with Kimberly.. heh.. she's kinda friendly i guess.. heh.. cause i have yet to know her very well.. but since she's very good friends with Kim, i dun think she'll be a very bad girl i guess? and YA!! jus this morning!! i had this very very very very very bad dream!! and i called Nad! asking her stupid questions!! and i think i wasnt really awake from the dream yet.. cause i started crying and blabbering things that are oh-so-ridiculous!! i mean seriously.. this is like the first time i woke up and started crying.. everything in the dream seems so darn real!! i mean, i can even feel myself doing the action of throwing things at Nad.. will the dream come true? i really do not know.. do you think so? i dreamt that: Nad CHEATED on mi!! for some other girl, whom i know so damn well.. but i jus cant figure out who.. the dream started in a way that Nad and that girl came over to my place to chill.. and i had to go downstairs to buy something for my parents before they come back.. thinking that they'll be lazy to accompany mi down, i allowed them to stay at my place while i get my stuff.. so after getting my stuff, i came home.. but because i didnt lock my house door, i was able to come in very quietly.. and i went into my room to look for both of them, but they wasnt there, so i went to my brothers room and they were under covers.. i could even hear everything they say.. that girl jus insulted mi, and Nad did jus that too!! i saw and hear it!!! they later went into my parent's bathroom together! and when Nad came out, her hairstyle changed abit.. she came into my room surprised and thinking that i didnt know anything bout wat she and that girl did.. i acted like there's nothing wrong initially.. and asked her why she and that girl was in my Mum's bathroom, she said that girl was helping her to trim her hair.. i started throwing tantrums and everything.. we started quarrelling and she still have the cheek to say that she dunno wat i'm angry over and say that i was ridiculous! jus when i told her i saw wat she did with that girl, she said that i didnt have any evidence and right to make such accusations!! i even threw things at her..Things like iron, the flowers she gave mi, and those empty glass bottles.. she defended but did nothing to stop or resist mi, which she always will when i do something crazy or abusive.. Nad later say that she gotts go and when i asked where, she said she's going out with that girl and her friends, which made mi go all crazy.. wat makes it worse was that Nad still say that she loves mi!! even after doing something oh so SINFUL with that girl.. everything was so clear!! argh!! everything's coming back!! i'm dying!! can someone help mi?! is it going to be true? people like Michelle say that dreams are the exact opposite of reality.. opposite as in, i will be the one who cheat on her? or the cheating wont happen between either of us? i actually think that dreams are the exact reflaction of wat may happen soon and wat already happened.. that's my believe.. but jus wat am i going to do if that really happen? or happened? did i lie to myself and to Nad and to my friends that i'll be ok if she has another girlfriend outside? is this dream a sign of mi feeling insecure? or is it a dream to warn mi that it's going to happen soon? |
