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Sunday, March 06, 2005 why am i acting like a little kid? fancy waiting here like a pathetic fool.. while she's partying and happily hanging out with her frenz.... drinking, disturbing the birthday girl.... why am i feeling weird? is it jealousy? or insecurity? grrrr! i dunno....wat am i doing? everything seemed so different from the past and now.. is it mi? or is it you? pr is it because honeymoon period's over? that's why the change happened.. i, honestly dun feel good... i dun wanna give her those shit too.. mayb i'm jus being ridiculous.. everything has changed so much... i've changed... she's changed... our relationship is changing too... sigh... i actually ripped my heart apart, to search for an answer, or rather, the key to my unhappiness... but wat i found was only, problems that are caused by myself.. my god-damn results... mi being too paranoid... overly or OBNOXIOUSLY sensitive.. and i'm getting self-centered too.. i hate these!... mi, saying i'm ok, or i'm alright is getting too tiring for mi... but, if i say i'm not, honestly... wat and how will people around mi react? asking how am i... and wat's happening... jus let mi have a sense of withdrawal, and i'll start resisting them, a whole lot more... i feel kinda numb and totally tired to these things aredi... do you think bring alone will help? can i get back to the totally innocent mi, one who's less sensitive and one who's indifferent bout things that she, has to make mi realise? i'm so confused!!! |
